The journey of a mathematically-impaired kid

Math and me have come a long way. From learning the spelling (yes, that matters too!) to learning the values of ‘x’. A very, very long way indeed! The journey is filled with tears, and on most parts, angry pen marks in frustration and torn pages filled with formulae.

Look from afar, and you’d always see a hazy, blurry picture of me scrawling out numbers on a Classmate notebook, the pen cap chewed to bits and the textbook, half torn, lying in front of me. There was never peace between us, a war of the Xs and the Ys. And there was me, trying to pacify them both, and failing miserably at that.

Sometime in the ninth grade, my mother made me join a tuition, only for mathematics. She said, and I quote, “You wouldn’t want to fail ninth because of one subject now, do you?” That sentence petrified me, I was so scared that I had sobbed into my pillow for the rest of the night. Failure was something that I could never take in. Whatever I did, I had to excel in that, play to win!

The tuition teacher was a good one, she made me solve at least ten sums per sitting, five out of which I executed properly, and the other five were solved in the same old messy way. Now I cannot disregard my style, can I?

A week later, I had my Periodic Tests, and math was the first paper. I felt prepared, for once in my life. I went inside the big hall, the eerie silence making me forget all the formulae I had crammed up inside my head. I don’t know, everything just went blank the moment I faced the question paper. A single tear made way down to the answer sheet, and I wrote whatever little I could recollect from the minutes I had spent cramming up and solving tons of sums.

Faith was lost, for me, I believed that I was never going to pass math, and it was so out of my league.

Five months had passed, I had changed tuition teachers, written down each formula at least a hundred times. I had my Second Semester in ten days. Math again. The first paper. I don’t know why my school always had math as the first paper, maybe it was to terrify students from the first exam itself, or to rid them of the fear and help them perform well in the papers that followed. Nothing worked for me, I worried about math in each paper, and every morning closer to the result date made my heart skip a beat.

Result date: I scored 55 out of 100 in math. I DID IT!! I PASSED!! I was so happy I pranced around the whole room showing everyone my result. I was promoted to the tenth grade!

I worked hard in tenth, though most of it I spent goofing around with my friends. For my boards, I think I had practised enough sums. I didn’t need to cram up formulae now, they were inscribed, engraved, embossed, and anything else possible, on my mind.

When the result for the board exams were out, I had scored 86 in math. It was a great score for  me, a massive leap. Happiness bubbled out of me like oil from a pakoda.

Although I did well enough in Math in the tenth grade, when it came to choosing subjects in FYJC, I felt math and my journey filled with tragedy had to end sometime. We parted ways happily. I chose Logic.

Now I watch, with a smug smile, at other people trying to pacify the Xs and Ys.

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Pretty Girl

I don’t know how

I ran out of the gate, only

To stop in my tracks and turn back

When I heard you.

You talked to me.

You spoke to me.

I heard you.

I saw you speak.

Words flowing out of your mouth

Can’t be forgotten, even if I wanted to.

I don’t know how

I will ever forget you.

You said I was pretty

That’s why you ran after me.

My heart swelled up at that,

Nobody ever told me that.

Texting you, talking to you

I got to know you.

Yes, I gave you my number!

I don’t know how

Or why I did that.

One day you ask

Why did I do that?

I don’t know

The answer to that.

You say

I am merely a pretty girl to you

You don’t know how

It broke me

It shattered my little heart.

I don’t know how

I don’t know why

Romance isn’t my genre

Nobody ever told me that.

Stay in touch! 

Keeping in touch with friends after school has ended is a pretty tough task. Normally, a person stays in touch with hardly ten to eleven friends from school. The rest are either forgotten, or you’ve been tolerating them for your school-life, that you just want to forget them and move on with your life. Or there are some very special people, whom you just want to meet up and hang out eith, but the timing is very wrong, and planned hangouts seem to go down the drain. 

All those promises of meeting up regularly, or hanging out someday are just ignored, and you don’t miss almost anybody. 

You meet people from coaching classes, school, hangout places, and in this age of technology, hundreds of different applications allow you to chat and text other people, including voice mails, face to face chatting, sending pictures, texting and so much more. Yet, there are only a handful of people, you talk to them on every social networking site possible. That is more of, ‘being in touch with the same person over and over again’. Seems a bit funny, but that’s the way it is. 

Meeting new people and letting the old ones go is a part of life, but a wise person moves on higher in the choice of wise friends and good company. 

———–

P.S: I wrote this like five months ago lol don’t judge. XD